What’s holding you back?
“Fear knocked on the door, and when courage answered, no one was there”
A lot of people I speak to (and coach) are crippled with fear.
Paralyzed to the point of not taking action.
While others “seem” to be in motion… swinging the hammer, so to speak, but only with half strength.
Again. Held back by a fear of some sort.
Some smart dude once said, “The enemy of success is to be comfortable”
Yep. That’s one hell of a dangerous place to be. And if you’re not careful…you can curl up and die with your life unlived.
If you’re justifying a plateau in your life… then you need to eyeball this sucker called fear once and for all. And that’s what I’m going to tackle in this post today.
Look. Fear comes in all shapes and sizes. Oh, and don’t think I’m any different. No sir-ee.
If I were you, I’d be wary of listening to a “guru” who tells you they didn’t feel fear… Sometimes on a daily basis. It’s a good indictor you’re pushing the boundaries and growing.
There’s a cool quote that goes something like this…
“Fear is the scarecrow of fools and the beacon of wise men”
I love that one. So yes, we all have it. In different levels…and at different times. But it’s always there. The trick is… what you do with it that matters.
What am I talking about? I’m glad you asked.
Think about this…
Are you feeding your fear… or starving it?
Cos let me tell you amigo… fear has a gluttonous appetite. It needs to feed to stay alive…
And you could be feeding it without realizing.
One of the fastest ways to fatten up your fear is to compare yourself to others.
Oh boy does that ever throw you into a negative spiral. Dangerous game. Very little good can come from it.
Money can’t flow easily in an environment where you are comparing yourself to others. That kind of thinking suffocates money-making creativeness.
Instead…
Money and ideas FLOURISH when you think “What’s possible”
Big difference.
So is there a way to overcome fear? Yes, there is. Well… there are probably a whole bunch of ways. But I’ll share what worked with me.
First of all, let’s look at the consequences of this self-inflicted debilitating toxin they call fear.
In plain simple English: Fear stops you from being the best you can be. Holds you back.
Friend, we want to see you at your best. We’ll always like you no matter what, but don’t waste your unused potential. We like seeing you at your best. We love seeing you shine.
We know you have more to offer. And deep down… you know it too, don’t you?
If fear is holding you back, then let’s fix this once and for all.
From this point on… No more feeding your fear.
I’ve heard…
“What you feed – grows. What you starve – dies.”
Makes sense, right? But be careful… Sounds smart, but I’m not convinced it’s entirely true.
If “starving it” means to ignore it, then I reckon it’ll rear its ugly head up again, one time or another.
Are you doing your best to ignore it? Hard act to keep up. Tiring. Don’t ignore it and sweep it under the rug.
Talk to it. Confront it. Eye ball it. But with compassion… empathy… and understanding… Recognize it. Validate it. After all, it’s a part of you. Make it work in your favour.
Now bear with me here… this next part may sound a little airy-fairy… but it’s not.
It got me out of a stagnant place when I was tangled up with thoughts of being inadequate.
It worked for me, so do with it what you will. And besides… I’ve come this far… might as well unpack the whole basket…
Here’s a conversation you can have with yourself…
Say… “Okay fear… I understand you’re afraid of <fill in the blank>, but here’s something greater to be fearful of…
It’s way more scarier to:
- Live your life half lived… and never know how good you could have been
- Never get out of debt… and never having enough money to do the things you love
- Not being able to help family members out financially
- Your kids not looking up to you because you’re not the action taker they once believed you were
- Your partner losing respect for you because you’re not living up to your promises
- Giving up on the dreams you once believed in… Giving up the fight.
Those, my friend, are more terrifying consequences to be afraid of.
Like I said… Fear is a part of life… so I reckon you might as well choose your own list of fears… Fears that’ll propel you in a new direction…
If you let fear stop you from being the ultimate version of yourself, then the consequences are miserable.
Look… I’m having trouble explaining this. I’m not satisfied you get it. Not your fault. Words are inadequate. I’ll press on anyway…
Listen… Try using fear as motivation to move forward… to take action.
Be the best you can be.
Can you flick a switch and instantly turn into the super confident version of yourself?
Possibly.
But for most, it’s not that easy. It takes daily work. Create new daily habits. Call it your self-esteem workout. Just 5-mins a day… but something…
Think of a time when you were at your highest point of confidence and happiness.
Tap into that feeling. Relive it. Meditate on it if that’s your thing. Read a positive book; call a friend for some positive feedback about yourself. Have a card in your pocket with a list of positive affirmations to read throughout the day. Whatever works.
Daily habits. What ever suits you, but take that step forward.
The key is immersion. Repetition. Tilt the scale so you’re top-heavy with positive… and if you feel fear creeping in… Remind yourself of your new list of fears that’ll push you in a new direction.
We want to see you shine. The world is longing for you to be your best. We want to see more of you…
It’s your time to shine.
Think big. Be different.
Bret Thomson
P.S. I’ll land this plane with one of my all time favourite quotes:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~Marianne Williamson
Yeah, I hear this.
I definitely struggle with the fear and doubt twins.
I like your whole, “yeah well it’s not as bad as ____” approach. I’ll give that a shot next time.
The thing is, I know amazing things happen when you bust through that fear and do what you wanna do. I guess it’s just a matter of remembering that.
Thanks for this post, Bret. Love the choice of picture too!
So true Selise. My greatest successes have come when I headed towards my fear… not cower away. What was waiting for me on the other side of fear was ALWAYS a greater reward!
Fear sucks but it’s so strong, really hard to battle but when you can get over it so much good comes!
thanks for the post Bret!
Sure does… might as well throw a saddle around it and tame it into your success stables! Thanks for the comment Carly 🙂
Great morning read! I really love it when someone suggests the idea of tackling fear head on. Stare it in the face, ask it what it wants, that sort of thing. I agree Bret, ignoring fear might shake it for a second but it’s not gone, much better to catch it by the tail and do something with it instead.
I’m glad you chose to write on this topic, it’s an important tool to master for the kit as much as any of the other whizz bang beauties you share and I liked hearing how it’s worked for you. Nothing like an honest blog that really tells it how it is, from experience too.
Last but not least, there’s some great quotes in here, I believe quotes are like little snacks that keep us sustained and energised, the ones you’ve included are a good boost for ‘courage levels’ to rev up and nip that fear on the ankles and drive it outta the yard.
Nice work hon and here’s another one I think you’ll really like 🙂
“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~.
Cool quote… adding that to my quote folder! And as alway hun… so well written, you talented writer, you. And yes… no use skipping around a topic this important. What example would i be showing if i didn’t admit having my own fair share of fears? I’ve just learnt how to see them and use them to my advantage (eventually).
When the acronym for fear is; ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’, we soon come to realize that when we finally decide to approach that fierce scary & mean looking bulldog, that it actually ended having no teeth to harm us with, and curled itself up between it’s legs, & limped it’s way back to it’s corner where it belongs.
Great post.
Man… i love that…
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal
Heard it years ago but totally forgot it. So true hey? But think about this my wise talented friend… Isn’t that the same meaning of “Faith” – “False Evidence Appearing Real”… Hmmmm…. I don’t know what my point is? Just food for thought, suppose.
But i guess if you could pick one or the other.. Having FAITH to move forward sure beats having FEAR hold you back, right? There you go… made sense after all. Sheeez i can sound smart sometimes 🙂 Thanks for the comment buddy.
Thanks everyone. It’s made a great start to the day.
Hi Brett
Another great article. Fear feeds inertia not success.
positive change is always to listen to others who have succeeded & have overcome adversity just like you.